Garret

Garret...I have had so many things bottled up in my head since October 8th, that it's hard to even know where to start.  I guess the first thing to tell you is that when you left us, you took a piece of Harley with you.  She will never be the same.  You were her world.  In her eyes, you were the epitome of perfection.  No matter your mistakes or your flaws or the demons you fought, no one ever did or ever could measure up to you.  She loved you unconditionally pretty much from the day she met you.  For the better part of 18 years, it was always you above all else...

Your birthday recently passed...but I don't think there are birthdays in Heaven.  You are forever 22, forever young, forever with so much still left to see and to learn and to experience...I know some people don't believe you go to Heaven if you take your own life, but I do not believe that.  If there really is a God, and I know you believed there is, I cannot believe that He would punish someone who was already hurting and struggling enough to do what you did by not allowing them into Heaven.  

I like to think that Allie came running to you, butt wiggling the way Boxers' butts do, so happy to see you, and you just as happy to see her.  I know that would have been the absolute best reunion to see!

But, gosh, Garret, you are so missed, so loved, and you have left such an emptiness in the world, in so many homes, in so many lives, in so many hearts.  I will never understand how you could do what you did, how all the love so many people felt for you wasn't enough to save you, why you weren't able to see in yourself what so many others could see in you.  You were one of a kind, and you have left an absence in this world that will never be filled.

Thank you for loving Harley the way you did.  Thank you for the laughs this past summer when you were here at the house.  And most of all, thank you for continuing to watch over Harley, for coming to see her in her dreams, and for knowing when she needs it the most.

We will continue to miss you and love you for the rest of our lives...until we meet again...