Purgatory: An Analogy

My husband, my daughter, and I went out of town to have a nice lunch together for my daughter's birthday.  We were listening to music, and "Hotel California" came on.  My daughter and I began having a discussion about what it was actually in reference to or what The Eagles intended it to be about.  There are many theories, but one of them is that Hotel California is a sort of purgatory.  We then got on the topic of what purgatory is and means.  I said purgatory in itself can be an analogy to so many things really.  Then it hit me, and I said, "That is how I feel; Long Covid is purgatory for me."

The Merriam-Webster dictionary gives the following definition:                          pur-ga-to-ry /pər gə tȯr ē/ noun a place or state of temporary suffering or misery

The belief in terms of religious references to purgatory is that purgatory includes both suffering and healing. However, some believe a minute in purgatory is a year in our time; some believe it is only a short stay until the prayers of loved ones release you from that state of abyss.

When people ask me how I am feeling, I usually give an answer such as "hanging in there" or "one day at a time" But, what feels like the most accurate answer would be, "I feel like I'm stuck in purgatory, and I have no idea what I need to do in order to be released from it. I'm not healing, not getting better. But, I'm not dead either. I'm stuck in this abyss of nothingness." I realized at that moment, as we listened to the song, that Long Covid feels like Purgatory to me. I finally have the perfect analogy for what these past 22 months have felt like.

I have been struggling lately. A lot. After a 71-hour streak without sleeping, I am now working with my healthcare team to help my brain to understand that it needs sleep. A prescription sleep aid is the newest addition to the plethora of pills and supplements I take each day, on a 5-alarm reminder schedule. It just seems that there is one problem after another, one new, quirky, bothersome symptom every couple of months. Sometimes I laugh; sometimes I cry. Sometimes, I do both.

"Last thing I remember, I was running for the door.  I had to find the passage back to the place I was before.  'Relax,'  said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive.  You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.'"                ~ The Eagles

Works Cited:

“America’s Most Trusted Dictionary.” Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/. Accessed 9 Aug. 2023.

"Hotel California."  Hotel California, Asylum Records, 1976.