Being a mom, for me, means unconditional love. The moment my babies were put into my arms, the overwhelming emotions were beyond words. The love and protectiveness and pure joy and contentment cannot be matched. Or so I had thought until my brother gave me a nephew, and then later, a niece.
Seeing my brother become a dad, and holding his babies for the first time was shockingly similar to those same feelings I'd had when holding my own babies for the first time. That absolute love and protectiveness and swelling in my chest happened all over again. Being 8 years older than my brother and 12 years older than my sister, I'd always had a maternal feeling for them, so I guess it shouldn't have been surprising that I'd have those same overwhelming feelings towards their babies.
I have made an effort to be an active part of their lives. I've babysat them, colored Easter eggs together, attended their school concerts, swim meets, soccer, football, and baseball games, and taken them to the zoo and swimming. However, since having Covid and now Long Covid, I have not been able to do those things with them. That's been really hard because it feels like I'm losing my bond with them, like I don't really know them anymore. They're growing up so quickly, and I feel like I'm missing it. It feels like just one more thing Covid has taken from me.
When my niece opened a gift from my parents on Easter and it was a romper with the same print as a dress I'd recently bought, I was so excited. She and I have a little "tradition" of wearing plastic tiaras when we are together. We have a selfie of us wearing them, and it's one of my favorite pictures. To be able to be "matchy" at our next family gathering, I told her we should wear our matching romper and dress too! That gathering is next week, so I'm looking forward to an updated selfie of being matchy in our navy and daisy print outfits, with tiaras in place, of course, to be the queens we deserve to be.
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