Happy Bittersweet Day

Being a mom is hard.  Having a day to celebrate being a mom isn't always the best or easiest day either.  There are the women who desperately want to be moms, but have not been able to do so.  There are the moms who wish they still had their own moms, but have lost them.  There are the moms who have lost their child or children.  There are the moms who do not have relationships with their children, for a plethora of reasons.  There are the moms who don't have a relationship with their own moms, also for a plethora of reasons.  Mother's Day isn't always cards and flowers and chocolates and breakfast in bed.

Where I live high school graduation is held on Mother's Day every year.  I hate it.  Spending Mother's Day watching my children graduate is not how I would ever choose to spend Mother's Day.  It's stressful, emotional, such a roller coaster of a day.  It's also A LOT of work to prepare for and host a graduation party.  It's such a sense of pride, sadness, love, and anxiousness all rolled into one when you see your babies reaching such a huge milestone.  A gym full of people, so many emotions, pride, joy, and sadness all combined in my tears.  It's just not how I would ever willingly choose to spend Mother's Day.  But I did it.  Four times.

As for being a mom, there is nothing in this world more important to me.  It truly is life's greatest gift to have carried my babies for 9 months, to bring them into the world, and to watch them grow and learn and become their own individual selves.  My babies are all grown up now, but they still have my whole heart, and always will.  I was also blessed with two bonus sons when I married their dad.  Being a stepmom is hard, has a negative connotation to it.  It has always felt like I was being scrutinized, judged, doubted.  But, I can say with 100% sincerity, both of my stepsons have brought me so much joy and happiness, and I love them both to the moon and back.  

Today, I am going to do what I've been doing every Mother's Day for the last 15+ years (minus the years I was attending graduations); I'm going to plant my flowers in the pots and baskets on my deck.  It brings me so much happiness to see them grow, to see all their colors when I sit outside on the deck.  It's funny how something so simple can bring so much contentedness.  But, it's true, it really is the little things in life.  

Happy (Bittersweet) Mother's Day to me, to all the moms reading this, and to all the moms who are still waiting for their babies, and to all the grandmas and dads and aunts and teachers and neighbors and family and friends who have stepped into the role of "mom" for those who need them.