Happy Anniversary to Us

Tomorrow, May 20th, marks my 23rd anniversary of being married to my husband.  October will mark 25 years together.  That's more than half of my life.  It's crazy to think I have spent over half of my life with this man.  That's a really long time...

The single most significant person in my life was my grandma.  She was my best friend, confidant, cheerleader, and unwavering supporter, as well as my Sunday comics reader, board game opponent, Barbie doll dresser, and roller skating judge.  (The fact that she would let me roller skate around the kitchen, do "tricks" and then hold up a sheet of paper with a "score" on it as I pretended to be various competitors in the Roller Skating Olympics, Kitchen Floor Edition, still makes me shake my head in wonder.)  She passed away when I was 31.  It's hard to believe it's been 17 years since we last spoke.  My grandma is how I measure so many things in my life...It's also hard to believe I've now spent almost as much of my life with my husband as I had with my grandma.  

My husband and I met at a time when we were both really struggling.  Rob bid on a job in the same department I was working in at a local meat processing plant.  (This was during that period of time while I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.  It paid the bills and had decent benefits.)  One day we were put on a line together, just the two of us, and we spent 10 hours together that day, standing across from each other, and we talked about anything and everything you could possibly imagine.  We discovered during that talk that we were both very recently separated from our spouses.  (I had not told anyone I worked with that my husband had asked for a divorce recently, so it was a surprise to Rob.) He then confided in me that he'd had a huge crush on me several years earlier when I'd worked at a local retail store.  He shared that he'd always made it a point to go through my checkout line.  He even knew what kind of car I had driven and what my rims looked like!  It may sound a bit stalker-ish, but I couldn't help but be flattered.  I confided in him that I'd always thought he was cute, remembered seeing him at the local 4th of July carnival several years earlier, and had commented to my friend how cute he was, and that it was too bad he was married with a baby.  

From that day on we were inseparable.  We spent 10 hours a day, 6 days a week working together and getting to know each other.  Our first date was dinner at Village Inn.  I actually told him at the end of that date that I didn't think it was going to work, that I just needed to focus on myself and my young son.  But he didn't give up.  He pursued me with flowers, balloons, songs dedicated to me on the radio, the works.  So, of course, I gave in.  And, as they say, the rest is history.

It has definitely not been 23 years of blissful married life. We've had many ups and downs.  We've suffered through the loss of a baby, the loss of my three remaining grandparents, and the loss of his mom (which almost meant the loss of our marriage as well because grief sometimes drives you to sabotage your life.)  But, through thick and thin, we've made it.  After 25 years together, married for 23, we are in it for the long haul.  We are best friends, we have built a life together, and we are each other's meaning of family.  No matter what happens, we have each other's backs, and we stand beside each other regardless of what else is going on around us or between us.  At the end of the day, it's us.

And, to be honest, if I laced up some roller skates and asked Rob to watch me do tricks in the kitchen, then hold up my scores on sheets of paper, I guarantee he'd do it.  But only if I let him have a turn at competing in the Roller Skating Olympics, Kitchen Floor Edition too!