The Day I First Became "Mom" (In Honor of Riley's 16th Birthday)...From my old blog "They Grow Like Weeds"

 August 5, 2011

The day I found out I was pregnant was a surprise to say the least.  On an old episode of "Roseanne" D.J. asks Roseanne what the difference between an accident and a surprise are and she says, "An accident is something if you had to do over you wouldn't; but a surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it."  That's what Riley was:  A SURPRISE!  Angie was the first person to know I was pregnant, waiting outside the bathroom door while I took the test.  But, for anyone who knows either of us, that was probably a given! ; )

From that moment on, I was Riley's mom.  Now, of course, throughout those next 8 months I was absolutely sure he was a girl, and I wanted a girl desperately, and being Riley, he kept us guessing and didn't reveal himself at the ultrasound so we'd know for sure.  However, the second Dr. Weldon said, "It's a boy!" I was thrilled beyond a belief.  The first words out of my mouth were, "Well, my other babies will have a big brother."  I later told my mom, "I don't know why I ever wanted a stupid girl in the first place!"  I was THRILLED with this absolutely beautiful, smooth-skinned, perfect baby boy with his wavy brown hair and gorgeous eyes staring up at me.

While the labor was absolutely the easiest first baby labor I'd ever heard of, starting with my water breaking around 9:00 A.M. and having him 4 1/2 hours later with no meds until the very end when the doctor instructed the nurse to give them to me when he realized I hadn't had anything.  Even then I didn't feel like I needed any and he was born within 15 minutes of that shot being administered anyway.  However, he was cranky and colicky from day one.  He spit up constantly, stained every shirt I owned, and would not let me put him down for even a minute for about the first 3 months of his life.  He was going to attach himself to me and there was no choice in the matter for me!  But, from then on, Riley and I had that bond, that attachment that only a mother and son can share.  

Over the next 3 years Riley was with me through a lot of highs and lows, but the one constant was my absolute adoration for him.  I took pictures of him sleeping, awake, smiling, laughing, crying, frowning, in the bathtub, in his crib, everywhere, wanting to capture him on film to have forever.  He was an absolutely delightful toddler, making up for his cranky infant stage.  He didn't have the typical "terrible two's" and I could take him anywhere.  He talked to absolutely anyone he could and told them his whole life story, but he was delightful to listen to!  He was well-behaved, stood beside me while I put groceries in the car, never ran away, never threw random items in the shopping cart, ate his dinner, went to bed like a good boy, was the most perfect, funny, cute little boy I could have dreamed of.

Now, it hasn't always been easy.  Yes, he was absolutely in love with his new baby sister, was an adorable big brother to her, and made me smile every day as he went through his elementary years.  But he was talkative, ornery, and a little mischievous as he got older.  Though I was certain he must have ADHD, I was assured that he was just an outgoing child and would learn to "channel his energy" as he got older.  And he did...eventually.  About midway through 7th grade, after a conference with his teachers, he turned things around, showed the amazing person he could be, and took on the role of a leader in his class. 

I had the absolute pleasure of starting my teaching career as an 8th grade teacher the same year Riley was an 8th grader.  While some 13 year-olds would dread that, Riley relished in it.  We became closer than ever, sharing each day together, laughing at the same jokes, and seeing each other on such a different level. It was one of the happiest times of my life both professionally and personally.  Then high school came...

High school is a scary place to send your babies!  At least for me it is!  As a high school student Riley has spread his wings and become more independent.  He has made some wonderful choices and he's made some horrible choices.  I know this is all part of the growing and learning process.  And though it is so difficult to watch your baby fail, to get hurt, to make poor choices, to suffer consequences, to learn things the hard way, that's also part of being a parent.  But this has also been a time to swell with pride while watching him play soccer, play football, train for Cross Country, put on a tie for school dances, laugh with his friends, do things on a skateboard I didn't think were possible, grow into an amazing young man who isn't perfect, who isn't faultless, but who is my baby.  Today's blog is for Riley, in honor of his 16th birthday, to say how much I love him, and to celebrate the day I first became "mom".