June 22, 2011
During a battle with serious insomnia last night I began browsing through my Facebook profile on my phone, remembering back to things I'd posted, including the "Notes" I didn't even remember I'd written. I came across this one and it really gave that feeling of "ah ha" that I have been needing. I was starting to get pretty wise a couple of years ago. Unfortunately life and other "stuff" got in the way and my priorities shifted. They had to. While I had complete control of my physical well being for the first time in my entire life and while I was relishing in a new teaching position which was a dream come true for me, I lost control of the personal side of my life and it all came crashing down around me. I didn't have that balance between physical health (losing weight), mental health (a career I was passionate about), marriage (my husband was pushed to the back burner), and motherhood (my kids felt a bit neglected and unimportant). I could focus on a couple of these at a time, but not all 4. That's something I'm still struggling with because as I move one up on the priority list, another falls to the bottom and that's where my problems lie. I need to find a way to balance it all in a better way.
But, here are the things I'd learned after 8 months of changing to a "healthy lifestyle" back in August 2009:
I prefer my burgers without cheese...or mayo
Fries taste better to me baked than deep fat fried
2% cheese is just as tasty as regular...and so is light sour cream
Replacing pop with plain water and water with crystal light singles took no effort
Exercise makes me feel better not only physically, but mentally
Exercise makes me sleep better too
The elliptical is the devil, but I love the workout it gives
Sweating is OK
Going up the stairs without wheezing can make my whole day better
Grilled chicken breasts with the right seasonings are just as good as fried ones
Fiber One yogurt is delicious
Kellogg's Fiber Plus bars with a thin layer of peanut butter are as good as just about any candy bar
Eating fast food/restaurant food/celebration food doesn't blow your whole day if you plan ahead and think before you order/take/eat
Having someone to share all those little victories and defeats with makes it a lot easier (thanks, Angie!)
Losing 150 pounds is a HUGE goal, and it's better to break it down into smaller, short-term goals that lead up to the "big" goal
Facing my obsession with food means dealing with a lot of other emotional issues, and also results in replacing the obsession with something else (like low-fat recipes, talking about dieting, etc.)
To be successful, I cannot "diet", but rather need to continue with the change in my lifestyle I began 8 months ago...
As I re-read those I think, "WOW! I was really 'getting it' during that period of time!" Now, if I could do it then, I should be able to do it now. I will have a new crop of students sitting in my classroom exactly 8 weeks from today. I want to feel good about myself, have a positive outlook on life and on myself and at the world in general. 8 weeks isn't enough time to reach the long-term goals I have for my weight and for my health and for my overall state of mind. But, it's enough time to reform those habits I need to have, enough time to have cleansed my body of the "ick" I have been abusing it with, and enough time to get into a routine I can live with.
I just bought ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and planned to bake them with Harley. I have a brownie mix in my cupboard. We had strawberry shortcake for dessert Monday night. Do I want to NOT bake for my family? Absolutely not! I LOVE to bake! I love to feed people! What I need to do is train my body the meaning of moderation. I need to learn to enjoy things in life (food is something I enjoy immensely) without abusing my body in the process. This is what I need to focus on.
These things should be all the motivation I need. Reading it and writing it, it seems so simple. Yet it isn't...Food addiction is like a drug or alcohol addiction. It's not something as easy as saying, "OK, I quit," and it's all better. It's physically painful to deny cravings, do allow the stomach to rumble, thinking it needs food even though your calorie counting for the day says otherwise. It takes an inner strength as well as a physical strength I'm not sure I have. But, today's the day I'm going to try. And if I don't succeed today, then I pray that God graces me with tomorrow to try again because that's all I can do...
But, here are the things I'd learned after 8 months of changing to a "healthy lifestyle" back in August 2009:
I prefer my burgers without cheese...or mayo
Fries taste better to me baked than deep fat fried
2% cheese is just as tasty as regular...and so is light sour cream
Replacing pop with plain water and water with crystal light singles took no effort
Exercise makes me feel better not only physically, but mentally
Exercise makes me sleep better too
The elliptical is the devil, but I love the workout it gives
Sweating is OK
Going up the stairs without wheezing can make my whole day better
Grilled chicken breasts with the right seasonings are just as good as fried ones
Fiber One yogurt is delicious
Kellogg's Fiber Plus bars with a thin layer of peanut butter are as good as just about any candy bar
Eating fast food/restaurant food/celebration food doesn't blow your whole day if you plan ahead and think before you order/take/eat
Having someone to share all those little victories and defeats with makes it a lot easier (thanks, Angie!)
Losing 150 pounds is a HUGE goal, and it's better to break it down into smaller, short-term goals that lead up to the "big" goal
Facing my obsession with food means dealing with a lot of other emotional issues, and also results in replacing the obsession with something else (like low-fat recipes, talking about dieting, etc.)
To be successful, I cannot "diet", but rather need to continue with the change in my lifestyle I began 8 months ago...
As I re-read those I think, "WOW! I was really 'getting it' during that period of time!" Now, if I could do it then, I should be able to do it now. I will have a new crop of students sitting in my classroom exactly 8 weeks from today. I want to feel good about myself, have a positive outlook on life and on myself and at the world in general. 8 weeks isn't enough time to reach the long-term goals I have for my weight and for my health and for my overall state of mind. But, it's enough time to reform those habits I need to have, enough time to have cleansed my body of the "ick" I have been abusing it with, and enough time to get into a routine I can live with.
I just bought ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and planned to bake them with Harley. I have a brownie mix in my cupboard. We had strawberry shortcake for dessert Monday night. Do I want to NOT bake for my family? Absolutely not! I LOVE to bake! I love to feed people! What I need to do is train my body the meaning of moderation. I need to learn to enjoy things in life (food is something I enjoy immensely) without abusing my body in the process. This is what I need to focus on.
These things should be all the motivation I need. Reading it and writing it, it seems so simple. Yet it isn't...Food addiction is like a drug or alcohol addiction. It's not something as easy as saying, "OK, I quit," and it's all better. It's physically painful to deny cravings, do allow the stomach to rumble, thinking it needs food even though your calorie counting for the day says otherwise. It takes an inner strength as well as a physical strength I'm not sure I have. But, today's the day I'm going to try. And if I don't succeed today, then I pray that God graces me with tomorrow to try again because that's all I can do...
